When I awoke after a drug filled sleep, the nice lady from the kitchens was coming in to set my room up for breakfast. She asked before pulling back my curtains to show the big glass windows and two 800 year old oak trees, a woodpecker was climbing up one of them....it was a sunny day!
She asked me politely if she could move my laptop and told me she would put it on the chair, and then she brought me some rice krispies and a croissant as ordered the night before. And of course my usual apple juice!
You get really used to drinking everything with a straw when you are in hospital, as of course you cannot drink normally from a laying down position, and my bed can only be tilted 30 degrees which is hardly anything, as my spine is not allowed anything else.
I lay and watched the news as I ate, and that was the first proper meal I ate in full since I got there. My sickness was well and truly gone!
I knew that today (Saturday) was most likely going to be going home day, but I didn't want to risk not being allowed home, so I made sure to eat it all and look a bit more lively. I felt good that day, weak but good!
At 9am Carl arrived, I was so glad to see him. It made my day to see him when I was in there! My parents too, it was nice to see people I loved when I was in there! It's a lovely hospital, but like every surgery, and even more so with spinal surgery, you are scared and aprehensive, and smiling faces of people who love you really take the edge off :)
The physio came in and he told me that I could try stairs today. He said if I mastered the stairs, he would sign me as fit to go home. I felt good, and was sure I could manage the stairs!! He got me up, and helped me with my brace. He was from somewhere European and had a nice accent, maybe Scandinavia? He was very nice.
As we (and Carl) walked down the coridoor he asked me twice are you SURE you don't feel pain in that leg still? I said that definately not as far as I could feel, only when I was laying down could I feel slight pain. None when I was up and about or sitting! He said I was not walking right, and that the months of walking in pain had changed the way I walk. He said I put the toes down first instead of the heel on my left leg and that I drag it slightly. He said not all the time but a few times a day, make a concious effort to walk heel to toe, and it will eventually correct itself!
We got to the stairs and, carefully, I started going down holding onto the banisters with my right hand. He taught me "BAD leg goes down first to hell, GOOD leg goes up first to heaven" and it's always one step at a time with both feet, not like normal stair walking. I have to do one at a time. Left then right then pause, then the next step! I went down fine and he was impressed. Then up fine, it was all fine!!
He shook my hand, told me that the leg and back pain may still last for up to 6 weeks because of all the bruising, and that also during the surgery they had to pin back the nerves in order to operate so they would be even more sore. He told me this 6 weeks, especially the first 2, were absoluely crucial to my recovery.
Lying down for most of the day. Walking etc for UP TO 45 mins at a time after building it up day by day to that maximum eventually, and 10-15 mins ideally but 20 mins MAX of sitting at any one time.
Then.....he signed me off!
I got back into my now newly made new sheets bed after quickly having a wash and changing out of my hospital gown and into a sun dress. I had another nap and felt SHATTERED by my walk and stairs...it took it out of me completely!! I was amazed! :) I suppose your body is so weak and drugged and that was the most I had moved in days!
My favourite nurse was off that day, so another nurse came to see me and unusually, she asked me "when do you want to go home" and I said whenever I can! She said she was happy for me to go today and she would sort my paperwork out and take the cannulas out of my arm. My last drip had been at about 10pm last night and I was now on solids and solid meds etc.
She took out the top smaller blue one first and I didn't feel it until she turned to speak to someone who had come in asking for her keys to the drugs cabinet and she pulled the needle in my hand as she turned! LOL!
Then the big one in the side of my wrist came next.....the needle was a white plasticy material and it was....3 INCHES LONG!!! It was MASSIVE! And that had been in my wrist for days! Wow! lol
I still sounded raspy when I spoke, from being intubated, but slowly my voice was improving and wasn't so dry etc, and as I signed the paperwork and she gave me all my stuff and explained the next appointments to have the wound re-dressed, see my consultant etc. Carl packed the car and headed to the pharmacy to pick up my meds (only 6 days worth?! WTF? lol! Long story but is ok now) and then, after getting up slowly and doing my corset brace up tightly. Carl and I walked down the coridoor, and I thanked the nurses station and we went to the carpark. By the time I got to the car I was exhausted and on the journey home, every bump was petrifying to me, but Carl was SO brilliant and he drove me home without even ONE painful jolt. He didn't care if people thought we were going too slow and he was so careful with me. He looked after me so well.
It did take a while to get me out of the car though!
When we walked slowly in, Carl took Maisy by the collar and she had missed me so much, she was so upset that she couldn't come and see me. Now I am just gonna say that, anyone who has met Maisy will know she jumps at everyone in excitement and barges around and has a good old play. But ever since I walked into this house, she has not jumped at me once, she has stopped jumping on the sofa with me, she has stopped jumping onto the bed with me and she follows me everywhere and licks me when I lay down....she KNOWS...Mum and Carl said they had a little chat with her before I came home...but I tell you that dog knows....100%/ She jumps at everyone else, but never at me since my surgery.....
I couldn't sit on the sofa as I was sore and it was too low so regretably I had to head straight upstairs and into bed. I was so tired and a little bit over emotional so Carl came and gave me a hug and got me a ribena and I slept until the afternoon.
I may have been sore, but I had gone through alot, and anyway...
I was home.....
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
My second day in hospital......
So on the second day in hospital I was already awake when the nurses came in and did their usual rounds of tests and blood pressure etc. The porter came round with the newspaper, we got one every morning, sadly it was The Daily Fail....I mean Mail....but I read it and it wasn't too bad. Better than nothing!
The kitchen staff came in with my breakfast on a tray, it was toast in a little silver toast rack, butter and a pot of tea with cup and milk jug and sugar bowl etc. It looked lovely but I still couldn't eat. I still felt sick, and I had a migrane on top of that.
The main nurse, the one I liked called Helena with the nice Irish accent came in about an hour later and I realised I had fallen asleep, Carl arrived too at this point. She asked me if I could eat anything, but I shook my head. I really couldn't manage it. She got me some more anti sickness but said it works better in the buttocks. I have never had any shots in the butt cheek before, was kinda funny. Anyway it worked and about an hour afterwards I managed one half a piece of cold dry toast, but I couldn't manage anything else.
The physiotherapist came in to see me and put the corset on, she explained that for at least the next 6 weeks, I could not get up, sit or walk without that corset. She said that they didn't know how I was going to react to standing up after so long laying down and after the anaesthetic and surgery etc. So slowly, and using the special techniques she taught me, I got up. It felt really good actually, it didn't really hurt and apart from a alight light headedness, I didn't feel dizzy and I didn't feel sick. Nothing! So she helped me walk up and down in my room and do a little bit of "marching" and then I was allowed to sit on the edge of the bed, and I ate another half of dry toast.
Funnily enough even just that action tired me out loads and I went to sleep when I got back into bed.
Carl sat next to me on a chair and held my hand, and I woke up and saw that he was asleep too, holding my hand, this made me smile, I went back to sleep.
At lunch time, Carl had to go to work, and although he didn't want to leave me, he knew two of my friends from work were coming over and then my parents would be over too, so he was ok about it and so was I.
My friend Jim came to see me, and so did some others from work. They bought me a nice card and some chocolates and magazines. It was nice having a little catch up with them, I have kinda missed them!!
They arrived when I was sat on the edge of the bed, with the physio getting me up for a proper walk, and since the gowns show pretty much everything, I said Hi and just asked them to give me a few minutes! The physio took me for a walk down the corridoor and around the corner, and then we came back. I sat on the bed and caught up with my friends, and then I lay back down and took it easy for a while.
Mum arrived while they were still there and she bought flowers with her, they were gorgeous and made the room a little more homely. Once they left, Mum sat with me and we chatted for a while, she helped me up and I got up again for a little bit and then got back into bed. Dad arrived soon after and they stayed with me until about 7, when they had to go back for Maisy, who was with Gran at home, so they could walk her etc. I didn't really want them to go, I dunno why I just didn't....but I had to accept it so, it wasn't the end of the world!
I was still on paracetamol drips, anti-biotics, tramadol and nurofen and also the stronger painkillers 2 times a day, oxycodon. The oxycodon was the only thing that hit the spot, and it also gave me crazy dreams. Really vivid and weird dreams about all sorts of stuff, I remember all of them. Every time I sleep, the dreams come!
The nurses popped in and out, and the nice nurse Helena came in and told me that she needed to check the wound dressing. She drew a circle around the bleeding, just to see if it got any worse...
She also changed the sheets with me still in the bed, it was quite an art. I recon nurses must have at least one whole class on that skill ;)
(I was going to be a nurse and had all my nursing uni interviews, but then changed my mind)
Once everyone left, by about 8pm I started watching 24 series 7 which we were up to (still have not seen series 8) and house which i'm only a series behind on now...after that I was asleep. I slept pretty well, until 3am when I woke up in such pain that I actually ended up crying. I was shaking and crying and it was so bad....I hated pressing the nurse call button because I felt guilty, but I felt I had no choice....
Now the day nurses were fantastic, really sweet and attentive, made me really comfortable and I never had any problems. The night nurses however left me feeling a little bit un-cared for.....I mean they meant well and a few of them were really sweet. But a few of them just didn't get it...this time....once I said how much pain I was in, do you know what they brought me to take? After a day and night of morphine, pethadin, oxycodon, tramadol and more?? ONE IBUPROFEN!!! LOL!
I took it...but as expected, within half an hour nothing had changed. I pressed the button again and asked a nice nurse to help me into the corset and up so that I could go to the loo, and once I was back in bed I explained my predicament....within 5 minutes I was given some oxycodon....thank God!
I knew it wouldn't be instant, so I tried watching house on dvd in my laptop but turns out I was loading it wrong, because it didn't work. So I turned the TV on. First I watched the end of a 5th Gear, and then, in imense pain...I flicked one channel up and it was Sky Movies on an old movie about the war and it was kinda funny so I couldn't even be bothered to change the channel......I LOVED this film....it was about an acting troupe in poland during WWII and it was a comedy too. It was so good, I fell asleep just before the end, annoyingly, because the Oxycodon had worn in and it makes you tired etc...since I got home I found out it was called "To be or not to be" and was a 1942 film...it was really good....I slept then until they woke me up for tests at 7am and then slept again until breakfast at half 8.......pretty much pain free..thank god...
Sunday, 22 May 2011
The Day of My Surgery...
I'm planning on doing a blog of my entire surgery and recovery process, partly for posterity and partly because I hope it may help others make the choice of whether to go for the surgery option or not.
I'm gonna have to do it in parts because I am not allowed to sit for more than 10 minutes at a time and at the moment it's too painful to sit so the only way I can type on the laptop is to lie on my back and have it on my knees, and I can only stay in that position for a certain amount of time.
So, the day of my Surgery....
I was admitted to The Clementine Churchill Hospital at 7am on the Thursday, and was shown to my room. It was really nice and had a wonderful view of two 800 year old oak trees and there were foxes and birds etc, and at night there was an owl. It was really nice. The room had the bed and the medical stuff behind it, then 2 chairs and a foot stool, and a flat screen TV, a bedside table, a hospital bed table and a vanity and wardrobe, then the en-suite bathroom.
I was admitted and the forms all filled and 100 questions asked 100 times, then I was asked to change into the hospital gown and I got into bed and relaxed for hours and hours waiting for the operation. The nurse put the ID band around my wrist and then another one saying I was allergic to mayonnaise! LOL!
I waited from 7am until around 2pm for my surgery. But in between that time my anaesthetist came to see me, my surgeon came to see me and nurses popped in and out. I had a nap, fiddled on the ipad and Carl was on my laptop using the hospital wifi. It was ok, it was probably best that I was able to relax to be honest!
They came to get me and walked me down to theater, where I was put onto a theater bed and this nice theater nurse spoke to me, she was talking about tattoos and she was really nice. I had to put my hair into a hat thing and I had already taken my ring off and my belly button bar out. They wheeled me into Theater 3 Anesthesia room, where a male nurse took my gown off to attach me to several machines before putting it back on and then the anesthetist came in and inserted my cannula. He put a small syringe of clear liquid into it and after about 10 seconds I had the nice pre-op floaty drunk feeling. I was enjoying that while he sorted the rest of it out, they put a clip on my finger and a ribbon under my neck. The nurse put an oxygen mask over my mouth and as the anesthetist put a bigger syringe of cloudy liquid into my cannula, he told me to take a few deep breaths, after maybe 15 seconds I can't remember anything else.......
I woke up in recovery, with an oxygen mask over my face in alot of pain feeling sick. I don't remember much but I know I felt sick. I was in and out of consciousness so I only have snapshots of what happened. Apparently they put some anti-sickness into the cannula. It must have worked because I didn't feel sick after that. A male nurse or doctor, I dunno which, came over and I asked him if it was supposed to hurt this much, it felt like they hadn't given me any pain meds at all, and it felt like my back had been sliced open...oh wait..it had! He then injected a small clear syringe into my hand. I must have passed out again, but when I woke up he was asking me how it was and I had to admit that whatever he had given me had done nothing, I was still in alot of pain. Two more syringes later and I was finally feeling ok, the main reason was that I had asked him and that nice nurse from before who was back, if I could turn over, I remember asking "Do I have to be on my back?" I just knew it would help to be on my back. They turned me over and I felt way better. I was still in and out but I remember my nurse from my ward that my room was on turned up and they connected me to portable oxygen and stuff and wheeled me up to my room. I remember pieces of the journey, but I was not spaced out, I was totally fine in terms of my mind etc.
They pushed my bed into my room and I said to the nurse "I thought this was my bed I was on, I was really worried that you guys were gonna make me move to another bed" and she was like "of course not! We would never do that!" I was just remembering from my epidural that they did that to me then. I guess spinal surgery is a bit more serious!
Mum, Dad and Carl were all there when I got into the room, it was about 5pm, and after disconnecting me from the oxygen and testing various things, they left us for a while to talk etc. I felt ok at this point, the nurse pointed out that in recovery I had 2 syringes of morphine and 1 syringe of pethadin! So I guess that was why!! :)
We chatted and the nurses were in and out doing constant tests, checking the wounds dressing and doing my blood pressure and stuff. They made me start trying liquids, in sips, about 30 mins after I came back up to my room. I must have been quite a while in recovery, I mean firstly I was intubated so they had to take me off the ventilator and take the breathing tubes out of my throat, and then monitor me etc for ages, I don't remember that, thank God, as those tubes down my throat was probably my worst worry about the whole thing! Haha!
About an hour after, my dinner arrived and I was a bit sceptical, I think it was too soon...which it turned out it was haha. I ate half a sandwhich and half a bowl of soup, and some water.
Mum and Dad left about an hour after my dinner, as I had started to feel sick and Carl had got the nurse to come in. She was injecting some more anti-sickness into my cannula, of which I now noticed I had two! (I'll go into that later!) and they didn't wanna crowd me, I said they weren't but it turned out to be a good thing as about 10 minutes after they left, I had to ask Carl to grab those thick cardboard bowls and I was sick. To be fair, I was on so many drugs I wasn't overly suprised. I was more worried that it would hurt my back but it was ok. I had already had one drip, but they came and put me on a second drip. I sipped some water, and then went to sleep, Carl went home, as much as he didn't want to, and I tried to get some sleep.
A nurse came in and started to take the drip out, so she could replace the empty bag with a 3rd full one, but she forgot to plug the cannula, and blood went everywhere, all over my bed, my hands etc! She was really apologetic but I didn't mind. She then gave me some more anti-sickness and I remember looking at her and I could literally see two of her. I looked around and there was literally two of everything, and no matter how I tried, I could see two of everything...it was really weird!
I was boiling hot and shaking and the nurses came in, two or three of them this time, and they were obviously a bit worried. They got me a fan, checked my temperature and started me on antibiotics straight into my cannula. I assume maybe they thought I was showing signs of infection and they wanted to be on the safe side. Luckily though, after I had the fan and a nap, I cooled down and stopped the shaking, they still carried on thr anti-biotics until I left, but I had no infections.
After Carl went, I tried to sleep but the pain and sickness kept me up pretty much all night, I lay and every hour looked at the clock, drifting in and out of sleep, but never sleeping properly. I was drugged up on so many drugs:
Morphine x2
Pethadin x1
Tramadol x2
Cyclazine x4 syringes
Paracetamol x1 Drip Bag full
Nurofen x2 tablets
Anti-biotics x2 syringes
Not to mention all the anaesthetics in my system from the operation!
During all this downtime and non-sleeping night time depair, I had time to look around and take everything in,
I noticed that I had one normal cannula. And one massive one going into the side of my wrist on the same hand, which had two ends and a tap in the middle with a long tube taped to my hand. Weird, it was strange..that was the one my drips went into and the normal one on the top of my hand was where the anti sickness or antibiotics etc were injected into.
At about 10pm my surgeon came in, obviously on his way home as he had his bag and coat, and asked me how I was. I said that I was okay, a bit sick etc but my back was feeling not too bad, and more importantly my leg had improved massively, and I could not feel any pain, except when stretching. He was really thrilled, and rubbed my lower leg and said he was so happy and that it had gone well.
He said he removed a really big portion of disc and that the herniation was massive. He said it was not the worst he had seen but it was getting there. He said that my leg was still going to hurt sometimes as the nerves have been bruised for so long, and also they have to pin them back to do the surgery and they end up getting poked around etc, so I shouldn't be so worried about that, and it should be gone by 6 weeks time.
Once he left I asked the nurse if my lights went any dimmer, and she turned them all off, I figured that might help me sleep but it didn't. I texted Carl goodnight but then I put my phone away and just lay there, I gripped the bed rails with the hand with all the cannulas in, because I was worried I would knock it. I just lay there, and lay there, and lay there.....
I didn't even have the energy to check my phone when it buzzed, or to watch TV. I just lay there. Listening to the sound of the owl in the tree right outside my window. If I wanted to change postitions, I had to do it the way the physio had taught me, and I could only lie on my back, or on either side but with my knees tucked up so my hips and shoulders were in line. I could only move all at once, and that is still the case. I have to be really careful, as it's a big part of the spinal recovery and care!
That night was a long one........
I'm gonna have to do it in parts because I am not allowed to sit for more than 10 minutes at a time and at the moment it's too painful to sit so the only way I can type on the laptop is to lie on my back and have it on my knees, and I can only stay in that position for a certain amount of time.
So, the day of my Surgery....
I was admitted to The Clementine Churchill Hospital at 7am on the Thursday, and was shown to my room. It was really nice and had a wonderful view of two 800 year old oak trees and there were foxes and birds etc, and at night there was an owl. It was really nice. The room had the bed and the medical stuff behind it, then 2 chairs and a foot stool, and a flat screen TV, a bedside table, a hospital bed table and a vanity and wardrobe, then the en-suite bathroom.
I was admitted and the forms all filled and 100 questions asked 100 times, then I was asked to change into the hospital gown and I got into bed and relaxed for hours and hours waiting for the operation. The nurse put the ID band around my wrist and then another one saying I was allergic to mayonnaise! LOL!
I waited from 7am until around 2pm for my surgery. But in between that time my anaesthetist came to see me, my surgeon came to see me and nurses popped in and out. I had a nap, fiddled on the ipad and Carl was on my laptop using the hospital wifi. It was ok, it was probably best that I was able to relax to be honest!
They came to get me and walked me down to theater, where I was put onto a theater bed and this nice theater nurse spoke to me, she was talking about tattoos and she was really nice. I had to put my hair into a hat thing and I had already taken my ring off and my belly button bar out. They wheeled me into Theater 3 Anesthesia room, where a male nurse took my gown off to attach me to several machines before putting it back on and then the anesthetist came in and inserted my cannula. He put a small syringe of clear liquid into it and after about 10 seconds I had the nice pre-op floaty drunk feeling. I was enjoying that while he sorted the rest of it out, they put a clip on my finger and a ribbon under my neck. The nurse put an oxygen mask over my mouth and as the anesthetist put a bigger syringe of cloudy liquid into my cannula, he told me to take a few deep breaths, after maybe 15 seconds I can't remember anything else.......
I woke up in recovery, with an oxygen mask over my face in alot of pain feeling sick. I don't remember much but I know I felt sick. I was in and out of consciousness so I only have snapshots of what happened. Apparently they put some anti-sickness into the cannula. It must have worked because I didn't feel sick after that. A male nurse or doctor, I dunno which, came over and I asked him if it was supposed to hurt this much, it felt like they hadn't given me any pain meds at all, and it felt like my back had been sliced open...oh wait..it had! He then injected a small clear syringe into my hand. I must have passed out again, but when I woke up he was asking me how it was and I had to admit that whatever he had given me had done nothing, I was still in alot of pain. Two more syringes later and I was finally feeling ok, the main reason was that I had asked him and that nice nurse from before who was back, if I could turn over, I remember asking "Do I have to be on my back?" I just knew it would help to be on my back. They turned me over and I felt way better. I was still in and out but I remember my nurse from my ward that my room was on turned up and they connected me to portable oxygen and stuff and wheeled me up to my room. I remember pieces of the journey, but I was not spaced out, I was totally fine in terms of my mind etc.
They pushed my bed into my room and I said to the nurse "I thought this was my bed I was on, I was really worried that you guys were gonna make me move to another bed" and she was like "of course not! We would never do that!" I was just remembering from my epidural that they did that to me then. I guess spinal surgery is a bit more serious!
Mum, Dad and Carl were all there when I got into the room, it was about 5pm, and after disconnecting me from the oxygen and testing various things, they left us for a while to talk etc. I felt ok at this point, the nurse pointed out that in recovery I had 2 syringes of morphine and 1 syringe of pethadin! So I guess that was why!! :)
We chatted and the nurses were in and out doing constant tests, checking the wounds dressing and doing my blood pressure and stuff. They made me start trying liquids, in sips, about 30 mins after I came back up to my room. I must have been quite a while in recovery, I mean firstly I was intubated so they had to take me off the ventilator and take the breathing tubes out of my throat, and then monitor me etc for ages, I don't remember that, thank God, as those tubes down my throat was probably my worst worry about the whole thing! Haha!
About an hour after, my dinner arrived and I was a bit sceptical, I think it was too soon...which it turned out it was haha. I ate half a sandwhich and half a bowl of soup, and some water.
Mum and Dad left about an hour after my dinner, as I had started to feel sick and Carl had got the nurse to come in. She was injecting some more anti-sickness into my cannula, of which I now noticed I had two! (I'll go into that later!) and they didn't wanna crowd me, I said they weren't but it turned out to be a good thing as about 10 minutes after they left, I had to ask Carl to grab those thick cardboard bowls and I was sick. To be fair, I was on so many drugs I wasn't overly suprised. I was more worried that it would hurt my back but it was ok. I had already had one drip, but they came and put me on a second drip. I sipped some water, and then went to sleep, Carl went home, as much as he didn't want to, and I tried to get some sleep.
A nurse came in and started to take the drip out, so she could replace the empty bag with a 3rd full one, but she forgot to plug the cannula, and blood went everywhere, all over my bed, my hands etc! She was really apologetic but I didn't mind. She then gave me some more anti-sickness and I remember looking at her and I could literally see two of her. I looked around and there was literally two of everything, and no matter how I tried, I could see two of everything...it was really weird!
I was boiling hot and shaking and the nurses came in, two or three of them this time, and they were obviously a bit worried. They got me a fan, checked my temperature and started me on antibiotics straight into my cannula. I assume maybe they thought I was showing signs of infection and they wanted to be on the safe side. Luckily though, after I had the fan and a nap, I cooled down and stopped the shaking, they still carried on thr anti-biotics until I left, but I had no infections.
After Carl went, I tried to sleep but the pain and sickness kept me up pretty much all night, I lay and every hour looked at the clock, drifting in and out of sleep, but never sleeping properly. I was drugged up on so many drugs:
Morphine x2
Pethadin x1
Tramadol x2
Cyclazine x4 syringes
Paracetamol x1 Drip Bag full
Nurofen x2 tablets
Anti-biotics x2 syringes
Not to mention all the anaesthetics in my system from the operation!
During all this downtime and non-sleeping night time depair, I had time to look around and take everything in,
I noticed that I had one normal cannula. And one massive one going into the side of my wrist on the same hand, which had two ends and a tap in the middle with a long tube taped to my hand. Weird, it was strange..that was the one my drips went into and the normal one on the top of my hand was where the anti sickness or antibiotics etc were injected into.
At about 10pm my surgeon came in, obviously on his way home as he had his bag and coat, and asked me how I was. I said that I was okay, a bit sick etc but my back was feeling not too bad, and more importantly my leg had improved massively, and I could not feel any pain, except when stretching. He was really thrilled, and rubbed my lower leg and said he was so happy and that it had gone well.
He said he removed a really big portion of disc and that the herniation was massive. He said it was not the worst he had seen but it was getting there. He said that my leg was still going to hurt sometimes as the nerves have been bruised for so long, and also they have to pin them back to do the surgery and they end up getting poked around etc, so I shouldn't be so worried about that, and it should be gone by 6 weeks time.
Once he left I asked the nurse if my lights went any dimmer, and she turned them all off, I figured that might help me sleep but it didn't. I texted Carl goodnight but then I put my phone away and just lay there, I gripped the bed rails with the hand with all the cannulas in, because I was worried I would knock it. I just lay there, and lay there, and lay there.....
I didn't even have the energy to check my phone when it buzzed, or to watch TV. I just lay there. Listening to the sound of the owl in the tree right outside my window. If I wanted to change postitions, I had to do it the way the physio had taught me, and I could only lie on my back, or on either side but with my knees tucked up so my hips and shoulders were in line. I could only move all at once, and that is still the case. I have to be really careful, as it's a big part of the spinal recovery and care!
That night was a long one........
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
See you on the other side....
It feels like I have been waiting for this for ages, but it has only been 4 weeks.
I'm tired and I'm in pain, my back is worse every day and keeps giving way and going into spasm so I drop. It's not very fun, and I just need to get this done!!
I'm too nervous to sleep, so am watching "One Born Every Minute" which is making me all maternal! Haha!
The only other thing about this, is that due to my spinal issues I can no longer have an "easy" epidural and I run the risk of it not working, so there is a small chance that if that happened, and I needed an emeregency caesarian, that I would have to have a General and be put to sleep. I'm really very unhappy about that....very...
But, that is not a problem in the here and now, and I need to focus on tomorrow, well actually TODAY'S surgery and my recovery and look to the future and our wedding and just concentrate on getting better!
So.....drips, ventilators, scalpels and electronic beds here I come!!
Wish me luck!
I'm tired and I'm in pain, my back is worse every day and keeps giving way and going into spasm so I drop. It's not very fun, and I just need to get this done!!
I'm too nervous to sleep, so am watching "One Born Every Minute" which is making me all maternal! Haha!
The only other thing about this, is that due to my spinal issues I can no longer have an "easy" epidural and I run the risk of it not working, so there is a small chance that if that happened, and I needed an emeregency caesarian, that I would have to have a General and be put to sleep. I'm really very unhappy about that....very...
But, that is not a problem in the here and now, and I need to focus on tomorrow, well actually TODAY'S surgery and my recovery and look to the future and our wedding and just concentrate on getting better!
So.....drips, ventilators, scalpels and electronic beds here I come!!
Wish me luck!
Sunday, 15 May 2011
The final countdown......
Tomorrow is Monday, which means there are just 4 days until I am admitted to Hospital for my surgery.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm not nervous, or that I am feeling fine about it. I'm not terrified but I am nervous, I am apprehensive.....it's all new to me, and it's all daunting.
The risk of any form of paralysis, even temporary is one in 300, and then they can usually reverse it. Then there is the risk of infection, that is low too but obviously more common, and then risk of the disc just herniating again, even after the surgery.
I can't however, sit and mull over possible complications. The fact is, I have to look at myself truthfully and say...can I carry on my life if I decide not to go ahead with it? And the answer, honestly, is no.
I can't get out of bed easily, I can't get anything off the floor unless I kneel down, the pain is worse every day and just blowing my nose whilst sitting down makes me almost pass out! I certainly couldn't do my job like I am at the moment. Whereas they tell me that within 3 months of the surgery, I will be back to the way I was before Christmas, and I can get back to work, back to my life. This isn't my life, this is like I am living someone else's life, and whilst I'm always grateful for what I have, I know that this is a condition that needs fixing and I need to take that leap of faith, put myself into the care of the surgeons and doctors and nurses and just let go of my usual obsessive "control"
Funnily enough my main fears, are that firstly I have to be intubated, which means they put a tube down my throat/airway when I am under the General Anesthetic, and then put onto a Ventilator which is a machine that breathes for me whilst I am under. I'm scared of that, it hurts your throat and they can't take it out until you are awake, and the thought of chocking on it as they take it out makes me feel really scared!
Then there is the thought of being hooked up to all the machines, drips, cannulas, needles and tubes. I know they are for good, and I have done it once before when I had my epidural, but that was not under General Anesthetic and I didn't have to have a drip etc, and definitely not a ventilator. I have NEVER had an operation before, and I've never really had a GA before!
Then my last fear, and this one is a bit babyish, but my last fear is staying overnight in a hospital all by myself for 2-3 nights. As I have my own room, I wont even see anyone, and I will be in that room all by myself for a few days and nights, the days will be OK as Mum and Dad and Carl will come and visit, and my friends from work are planning a visit on Friday and then Sandra should be coming over too. But the nights? I'm just a bit apprehensive about the nights. I-pod I guess! :)
So...tomorrow is gonna be a day of relaxing and re-organising my wardrobe and drawers, just generally chilling out and relaxing. I have pushed myself all weekend to do stuff so my back is even worse now and tomorrow I just need one of those "Don't leave the house" days in-front of the TV! :)
Then Tuesday will be my packing for hospital day. I have to bring lots of stuff and I wanna make sure I have all my toiletries and make up etc! You know me! Can't go without makeup, even at hospital! LOL!
Wednesday will be a busy day, as I will be going to say goodbye for a couple of weeks to my precious horse Domino, giving him kisses and cuddles, as I wont see him for at least 2 weeks. But with holidays in the past, it wont be the longest time hopefully that I've been without him! :) Then I have to go and have my eyebrows waxed, followed by my hair done, as I am not allowed to shower properly for a few days, and with all the being in bed, having my hair put into the hair cover thing etc, curls would just be a huge mass of knots! So I have to have it done! :)
I'm hoping to sleep on Wednesday night....but I have my doubts!!
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm not nervous, or that I am feeling fine about it. I'm not terrified but I am nervous, I am apprehensive.....it's all new to me, and it's all daunting.
The risk of any form of paralysis, even temporary is one in 300, and then they can usually reverse it. Then there is the risk of infection, that is low too but obviously more common, and then risk of the disc just herniating again, even after the surgery.
I can't however, sit and mull over possible complications. The fact is, I have to look at myself truthfully and say...can I carry on my life if I decide not to go ahead with it? And the answer, honestly, is no.
I can't get out of bed easily, I can't get anything off the floor unless I kneel down, the pain is worse every day and just blowing my nose whilst sitting down makes me almost pass out! I certainly couldn't do my job like I am at the moment. Whereas they tell me that within 3 months of the surgery, I will be back to the way I was before Christmas, and I can get back to work, back to my life. This isn't my life, this is like I am living someone else's life, and whilst I'm always grateful for what I have, I know that this is a condition that needs fixing and I need to take that leap of faith, put myself into the care of the surgeons and doctors and nurses and just let go of my usual obsessive "control"
Funnily enough my main fears, are that firstly I have to be intubated, which means they put a tube down my throat/airway when I am under the General Anesthetic, and then put onto a Ventilator which is a machine that breathes for me whilst I am under. I'm scared of that, it hurts your throat and they can't take it out until you are awake, and the thought of chocking on it as they take it out makes me feel really scared!
Then there is the thought of being hooked up to all the machines, drips, cannulas, needles and tubes. I know they are for good, and I have done it once before when I had my epidural, but that was not under General Anesthetic and I didn't have to have a drip etc, and definitely not a ventilator. I have NEVER had an operation before, and I've never really had a GA before!
Then my last fear, and this one is a bit babyish, but my last fear is staying overnight in a hospital all by myself for 2-3 nights. As I have my own room, I wont even see anyone, and I will be in that room all by myself for a few days and nights, the days will be OK as Mum and Dad and Carl will come and visit, and my friends from work are planning a visit on Friday and then Sandra should be coming over too. But the nights? I'm just a bit apprehensive about the nights. I-pod I guess! :)
So...tomorrow is gonna be a day of relaxing and re-organising my wardrobe and drawers, just generally chilling out and relaxing. I have pushed myself all weekend to do stuff so my back is even worse now and tomorrow I just need one of those "Don't leave the house" days in-front of the TV! :)
Then Tuesday will be my packing for hospital day. I have to bring lots of stuff and I wanna make sure I have all my toiletries and make up etc! You know me! Can't go without makeup, even at hospital! LOL!
Wednesday will be a busy day, as I will be going to say goodbye for a couple of weeks to my precious horse Domino, giving him kisses and cuddles, as I wont see him for at least 2 weeks. But with holidays in the past, it wont be the longest time hopefully that I've been without him! :) Then I have to go and have my eyebrows waxed, followed by my hair done, as I am not allowed to shower properly for a few days, and with all the being in bed, having my hair put into the hair cover thing etc, curls would just be a huge mass of knots! So I have to have it done! :)
I'm hoping to sleep on Wednesday night....but I have my doubts!!
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Pilates and Pain killers....
Today I tried for the first time, the product that I hope will change my life.
Since my back is basically broken, I sought out ways to lose more weight for our wedding.
I was having a pedicure because I can't really even paint my toe nails, LOL!
The girl at the spa was telling me that in 4 months, she went from a size 16 to a size 10 in time for her wedding, by sticking to 1200 calories a day and doing Winsor Pilates once every day.
It's pilates using a resitance band with two handles either side. Like a hoop that bends.
I was amazed, and I'm not even anywhere near a size 16. And I only wanna get down one or two dress sizes!
So...I got the system and I started it today for the first time.
I can't do barely anything due to my spine at the moment, but pilates has always always been painted as this really great work out that actually strengthens your back as well as toning and getting the weight down.
So...I tried it...and I did the WHOLE begginers DVD and only had to sit out for 2 excersizes (ones that I knew were too much for my back) but I even did quite a few back ones, and they felt like they really helped.
The best part for me, was that the ONE part of me I need to lose on, for my Wedding dress is my arms, and they had LOADS of really really amazing excerizes for my arms, and they really burn right now! LOL!
I feel like I can finally do something positive towards the ONE thing I wanna acomplish in the next 3months, and NOT hurt my back in the process :) :)
Today = a good day
Finally! :)
Since my back is basically broken, I sought out ways to lose more weight for our wedding.
I was having a pedicure because I can't really even paint my toe nails, LOL!
The girl at the spa was telling me that in 4 months, she went from a size 16 to a size 10 in time for her wedding, by sticking to 1200 calories a day and doing Winsor Pilates once every day.
It's pilates using a resitance band with two handles either side. Like a hoop that bends.
I was amazed, and I'm not even anywhere near a size 16. And I only wanna get down one or two dress sizes!
So...I got the system and I started it today for the first time.
I can't do barely anything due to my spine at the moment, but pilates has always always been painted as this really great work out that actually strengthens your back as well as toning and getting the weight down.
So...I tried it...and I did the WHOLE begginers DVD and only had to sit out for 2 excersizes (ones that I knew were too much for my back) but I even did quite a few back ones, and they felt like they really helped.
The best part for me, was that the ONE part of me I need to lose on, for my Wedding dress is my arms, and they had LOADS of really really amazing excerizes for my arms, and they really burn right now! LOL!
I feel like I can finally do something positive towards the ONE thing I wanna acomplish in the next 3months, and NOT hurt my back in the process :) :)
Today = a good day
Finally! :)
Sunday, 8 May 2011
The History of my Current Situation....
Since I have just over a week until my surgery, I thought I would start a blog to keep everyone updated with the pain, the recovery process, the hospital and the operation itself....my feelings before and after, and what my life is for the next 8 weeks.
Before I start all that, I suppose I better delve a little deeper into the history of how I got to this stage....
It all started in October 2010 when I woke up and couldn't move....it was pain like I had never experienced in my life. I have lived quite a risky life and I have made the mistake of not wearing my back protector when I jumped my horse in shows or over a course of jumps, and I have had horses in the past who have caused me to have bad accidents. I have had my fair share of accidents and my back has taken a beating, and I guess that one day, in October, it just decided the strain was too much. It was then that I imagine I slipped the disc.
I was stuck on the floor, crying, unable to breathe or move or anything....it killed me...so did my hip. At first I thought it was from my horse riding accident, where I came off and into a jump.
But then I wondered if it was from lifting shavings bales etc.....who knows...who cares...the damage was done.
From Christmas onwards the pain started in my left leg, getting steadily worse until my hip, thigh, shin and back of leg muscles all were in agony. I could no longer bend it right because the nerves hurt too much and my mind wouldn't let me create that pain. Work was ok because we mostly either sit or stand, but anything other than that was awful. Eventually I started to lose sensation in the lower part of my left leg, the outside of it and my ankle and top of foot....I didn't notice it until the physiotherapist pointed it out.....it is strange!
So...I went to the doctor in January/February time and asked what they could do.
They put me on Diclofenac. When I say it did nothing, that was an understatement, although when later mixed with other drugs, it does help.
I then went back in March and they said they could put me on the NHS physio waiting list, but it was a 9 week wait and that was all they could do.
Remember that, at this point I still thought my leg was hurt, and I didn't connect the back in October to the Leg in December....so had I gone down that NHS route, I would have been treated for leg pain and let go without any investigations probably. (no offence to the NHS, I have had lots of good experiences with them, but they just have to meet alot of demand)
The Dr offered me a refferal letter if I had private health care, which I did.
I soon found myself at the Clemetine Churchill Hospital, a private hopsital which is lovely and very fancy and full of really nice staff, yeah it's still a hospital, which I don't enjoy, but they make it feel like it's not. I'm comfortable there.
I saw Dr Matthew Bartlett, a very charming and kind man who examined me and my range of movements, and signed me two slips, one for an MRI and one for Physiotherapy.
I took them down the hall and booked myself in.
My MRI was two days later, and my physio was the next day.
Money talks huh? :)
The MRI machine was not bad at all, but then I'm not claustrophobic. I closed my eyes and daydreamed for the 1 hour scan and when it was finished, they took the headphones off (I had music offered to me by them) and I was told to change, and by the time I had changed they had given a disc of my entire scan to Carl who was waiting outside. The technician said to me "When are you seeing your doctor?" I though that probably meant bad news....
I tried to look on the scan for and sign of the trademark slipped discs or anything untoward. Despite seeing what they should look like on you-tube videos my Dad found we still could find nothing! I decided to wait until the appointment and my mind was in two, either I was hoping there was nothing, in which case I'd be annoyed as it meant my pain was not found yet, or I hoped it was slipped disc which was silly because who would want that? I was stuck!
I saw Dr Bartlett again two days later, and he said as he thought, I had THREE slipped discs.
He suggested that due to the severity of the middle one, my L4/5 disc, that it would most likely need surgery, as it had dropped down as well as out, and would most likely not go back in on it's own. He reffered me to see a spinal specialist and surgeon, Mr Shaun Ridgeway.
The following week I saw him.
To cut a long story short, we agreed to try a spinal epidural with steroids, to see if it worked.
If I had any improvement he would try that route, if not, due to the severity, he would operate.
I was admitted to the hospital, and had a nice big hotel style room all to myself. It had a flat screen TV and a duvet instead of normal hospital blankets, and a bathroom with hotel style toiletries! I was impressed! It takes away from the kind of nerves you find when you are admitted to hospital, especially since it was my fist time. I've never had any real health issues and I have never been in hospital for any length of time before, so I was scared!
I changed into the gown and had a nap whilst Carl watched TV next to me in the lounge chair.
The anesthetist came in to see me, the surgeon came in to see me, nurses came in and out etc. Eventually (thank god, I was starving) they came to get me for the proceedure. I kissed Carl goodbye and walked down with the nurse to theatre. I was told to take my dressing gown and slippers off, and get onto a blue wheelie bed. They hooked me up to lots of machines, ECG/EKG? Not sure which. They made me put my hair into a cover thing, and put those nasty anti DVT stockings on! They are really tight! LOL
Then they wheeled that bed into the Anesthetists room. They inserted the cannula into my left hand and the anesthetist said he would inject some of the pre-med (I was not being knocked out, just drugged with the pre-meds so I wouldn't remember and I would stay still) and then I would feel light headed, and then once I was in place, he would inject the rest.
He started with some light pain killer, and then put the big syringe into the plug in the cannula. Before he had even finished putting it all in, I felt like the best high in the world, like being off your face drunk but without the sickness/headache!! The celing spun and I told him I could definately feel it! He laughed :)
They wheeled me into the operating theatre, which was all dark blue tiles and lots of metal!
I saw Mr Ridgeway all scrubbed up for theatre, he said hello and asked how I was, I said hello and I was fine etc. They told me to climb off the bed onto the operating table bed onto my stomach. I did that and (slightly aware that I was in disposable hospital pants) put my arms above my head and my head to the right. The last thing I remember was they cleaned my back with some cold stuff, apologised that it was cold, and I told them it was nice as I was hot. Then the anesthetist injected the rest and that was it.......
When I came around properly, I was being wheeled out and I asked the nurse to my right if it was all over. I have no recollection of moving onto my back or anything else at all! Let alone the two giant needles they put into my spine (I got copies of the x-rays they took with the giant needles in place) She told me it was all finished, and wheeled me into the recovery area next to a man who had breathing tubes in. They were removing them and I could hear him gagging. Then he went back to sleep. I hated that part, but it was ok. I was still a bit high and it felt chilled and nice, so I just nosed in on everyone elses situation whilst I was being observed!
A nice nurse came and spoke to me and she chatted about the horse and my job etc, and every few minutes the blood pressure cuff on my arm would tighten. I had an oxygen mask on and it was nice cold air. It helped a bit as I was so drowsy, and it felt nice to breathe in fresh air from the mask. After a while Mr Ridgeway came in and asked how I felt. At that stage my leg felt good, so I told him good.
Once I was back in my room, after a while I got up with Carl's help and I could instantly feel the pain was back. I kinda knew from that moment I would end up having the surgery. But they say sometimes it takes a few weeks, so I waited.
I have waited and seen him again, and he agrees I have to have the surgery.
I'm keeping up with my hydrotherapy and physiotherapy, I have accupuncture and I swim too.
It all helps, and I feel like the other two discs may have started to go back in, because the back pain is a bit better. The leg pain however, just gets worse and worse.
The thing is, like the doctors say, once the damage is this bad, if I leave it I could end up so much worse. A woman came into the front counter at work once and told me that she had her leg brace and cane because she faffed around with the epidurals for a few years before having the surgery, and has now lost the use of her left leg, or most of it anyway, from nerve damage. She urged me to have the surgery.
Many many people in my line of work have had it and gone back to full duty after 8 weeks off.
Everyone seems to be able to go back to their horses and riding and sports etc.
I'm hoping that that is the case. My fingers are crossed anyway!!
So, here I am!
I'm off work, every day is the same, TV, sofa, physio, sofa, pain killers, and pain.
Lucky for me, my surgery is now less than 2 weeks away, and for now I have my tramadol, co-codamol and diclofenac.
The tramadol saves me! (not 100% but it allows me to sit anyway!)
So I thought I would start a blog, about the pain, about the physio, about the pre-op tests, hydro, hospital stay and surgery and more importantly.....the road to recovery.......
Before I start all that, I suppose I better delve a little deeper into the history of how I got to this stage....
It all started in October 2010 when I woke up and couldn't move....it was pain like I had never experienced in my life. I have lived quite a risky life and I have made the mistake of not wearing my back protector when I jumped my horse in shows or over a course of jumps, and I have had horses in the past who have caused me to have bad accidents. I have had my fair share of accidents and my back has taken a beating, and I guess that one day, in October, it just decided the strain was too much. It was then that I imagine I slipped the disc.
I was stuck on the floor, crying, unable to breathe or move or anything....it killed me...so did my hip. At first I thought it was from my horse riding accident, where I came off and into a jump.
But then I wondered if it was from lifting shavings bales etc.....who knows...who cares...the damage was done.
From Christmas onwards the pain started in my left leg, getting steadily worse until my hip, thigh, shin and back of leg muscles all were in agony. I could no longer bend it right because the nerves hurt too much and my mind wouldn't let me create that pain. Work was ok because we mostly either sit or stand, but anything other than that was awful. Eventually I started to lose sensation in the lower part of my left leg, the outside of it and my ankle and top of foot....I didn't notice it until the physiotherapist pointed it out.....it is strange!
So...I went to the doctor in January/February time and asked what they could do.
They put me on Diclofenac. When I say it did nothing, that was an understatement, although when later mixed with other drugs, it does help.
I then went back in March and they said they could put me on the NHS physio waiting list, but it was a 9 week wait and that was all they could do.
Remember that, at this point I still thought my leg was hurt, and I didn't connect the back in October to the Leg in December....so had I gone down that NHS route, I would have been treated for leg pain and let go without any investigations probably. (no offence to the NHS, I have had lots of good experiences with them, but they just have to meet alot of demand)
The Dr offered me a refferal letter if I had private health care, which I did.
I soon found myself at the Clemetine Churchill Hospital, a private hopsital which is lovely and very fancy and full of really nice staff, yeah it's still a hospital, which I don't enjoy, but they make it feel like it's not. I'm comfortable there.
I saw Dr Matthew Bartlett, a very charming and kind man who examined me and my range of movements, and signed me two slips, one for an MRI and one for Physiotherapy.
I took them down the hall and booked myself in.
My MRI was two days later, and my physio was the next day.
Money talks huh? :)
The MRI machine was not bad at all, but then I'm not claustrophobic. I closed my eyes and daydreamed for the 1 hour scan and when it was finished, they took the headphones off (I had music offered to me by them) and I was told to change, and by the time I had changed they had given a disc of my entire scan to Carl who was waiting outside. The technician said to me "When are you seeing your doctor?" I though that probably meant bad news....
I tried to look on the scan for and sign of the trademark slipped discs or anything untoward. Despite seeing what they should look like on you-tube videos my Dad found we still could find nothing! I decided to wait until the appointment and my mind was in two, either I was hoping there was nothing, in which case I'd be annoyed as it meant my pain was not found yet, or I hoped it was slipped disc which was silly because who would want that? I was stuck!
I saw Dr Bartlett again two days later, and he said as he thought, I had THREE slipped discs.
He suggested that due to the severity of the middle one, my L4/5 disc, that it would most likely need surgery, as it had dropped down as well as out, and would most likely not go back in on it's own. He reffered me to see a spinal specialist and surgeon, Mr Shaun Ridgeway.
The following week I saw him.
To cut a long story short, we agreed to try a spinal epidural with steroids, to see if it worked.
If I had any improvement he would try that route, if not, due to the severity, he would operate.
I was admitted to the hospital, and had a nice big hotel style room all to myself. It had a flat screen TV and a duvet instead of normal hospital blankets, and a bathroom with hotel style toiletries! I was impressed! It takes away from the kind of nerves you find when you are admitted to hospital, especially since it was my fist time. I've never had any real health issues and I have never been in hospital for any length of time before, so I was scared!
I changed into the gown and had a nap whilst Carl watched TV next to me in the lounge chair.
The anesthetist came in to see me, the surgeon came in to see me, nurses came in and out etc. Eventually (thank god, I was starving) they came to get me for the proceedure. I kissed Carl goodbye and walked down with the nurse to theatre. I was told to take my dressing gown and slippers off, and get onto a blue wheelie bed. They hooked me up to lots of machines, ECG/EKG? Not sure which. They made me put my hair into a cover thing, and put those nasty anti DVT stockings on! They are really tight! LOL
Then they wheeled that bed into the Anesthetists room. They inserted the cannula into my left hand and the anesthetist said he would inject some of the pre-med (I was not being knocked out, just drugged with the pre-meds so I wouldn't remember and I would stay still) and then I would feel light headed, and then once I was in place, he would inject the rest.
He started with some light pain killer, and then put the big syringe into the plug in the cannula. Before he had even finished putting it all in, I felt like the best high in the world, like being off your face drunk but without the sickness/headache!! The celing spun and I told him I could definately feel it! He laughed :)
They wheeled me into the operating theatre, which was all dark blue tiles and lots of metal!
I saw Mr Ridgeway all scrubbed up for theatre, he said hello and asked how I was, I said hello and I was fine etc. They told me to climb off the bed onto the operating table bed onto my stomach. I did that and (slightly aware that I was in disposable hospital pants) put my arms above my head and my head to the right. The last thing I remember was they cleaned my back with some cold stuff, apologised that it was cold, and I told them it was nice as I was hot. Then the anesthetist injected the rest and that was it.......
When I came around properly, I was being wheeled out and I asked the nurse to my right if it was all over. I have no recollection of moving onto my back or anything else at all! Let alone the two giant needles they put into my spine (I got copies of the x-rays they took with the giant needles in place) She told me it was all finished, and wheeled me into the recovery area next to a man who had breathing tubes in. They were removing them and I could hear him gagging. Then he went back to sleep. I hated that part, but it was ok. I was still a bit high and it felt chilled and nice, so I just nosed in on everyone elses situation whilst I was being observed!
A nice nurse came and spoke to me and she chatted about the horse and my job etc, and every few minutes the blood pressure cuff on my arm would tighten. I had an oxygen mask on and it was nice cold air. It helped a bit as I was so drowsy, and it felt nice to breathe in fresh air from the mask. After a while Mr Ridgeway came in and asked how I felt. At that stage my leg felt good, so I told him good.
Once I was back in my room, after a while I got up with Carl's help and I could instantly feel the pain was back. I kinda knew from that moment I would end up having the surgery. But they say sometimes it takes a few weeks, so I waited.
I have waited and seen him again, and he agrees I have to have the surgery.
I'm keeping up with my hydrotherapy and physiotherapy, I have accupuncture and I swim too.
It all helps, and I feel like the other two discs may have started to go back in, because the back pain is a bit better. The leg pain however, just gets worse and worse.
The thing is, like the doctors say, once the damage is this bad, if I leave it I could end up so much worse. A woman came into the front counter at work once and told me that she had her leg brace and cane because she faffed around with the epidurals for a few years before having the surgery, and has now lost the use of her left leg, or most of it anyway, from nerve damage. She urged me to have the surgery.
Many many people in my line of work have had it and gone back to full duty after 8 weeks off.
Everyone seems to be able to go back to their horses and riding and sports etc.
I'm hoping that that is the case. My fingers are crossed anyway!!
So, here I am!
I'm off work, every day is the same, TV, sofa, physio, sofa, pain killers, and pain.
Lucky for me, my surgery is now less than 2 weeks away, and for now I have my tramadol, co-codamol and diclofenac.
The tramadol saves me! (not 100% but it allows me to sit anyway!)
So I thought I would start a blog, about the pain, about the physio, about the pre-op tests, hydro, hospital stay and surgery and more importantly.....the road to recovery.......
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